Gorgeous

What else is there to say?

Romeo and Juilet

Today my mom told me that my cousin is having a nervous breakdown. Her version of a nervous breakdown is that she is crying all the time, isn't going to class, making herself sick, blah, blah, blah. She is having a nervous breakdown because she and her boyfriend broke up, and now they are back together. They live together (in a house with a roommate), and while they were broken up he whined and complained to his parents how he did not want to live there anymore and wanted leave and blah, blah, blah. Well, now they are back together he doesn't want to leave and his brother is flying in tomorrow to help him move and oh yeah, he hasn't told his mom he doesn't want to move. Yes, this is teenage lovers angst, yet they are 21 and 23. You read correctly 21 and 23. Not 14 and 15. These two people are in their early twenties and in college. My cousin made a comment how if he leaves she doesn't know how she will go on with out him and she felt like they were romeo and juliet. She also said something (not really sure what) to allude that she was suicidal. I feel for her...up to a point. She and her boyfriend have gotten themselves into this mess. He whined and complained that he could not be in the same house with her, and now they are back together and voila, everything is all good again, yet he doesn't have the balls to say a word. I don't like the reference to romeo and juliet. I knew a real life romeo and juliet. They ended, tragically. They are both dead and lives were and remain shattered since. Their lives were taken by suicide. I don't find anything that my cousin said amusing and I don't take the suicide comment lightly. I think she is acting like a drama queen and quite frankly, it sickens me. It makes me mad because of her DRAMA she is affecting a number of people. My aunt has take the rest of the week off to deal with her daughter, my mom may go to Las Cruces to talk to her and spend the weekend so that means Doug and I don't get to see Ed's play. It's bullshit. That's all it is. It is petty and it seems like it is such a cry for attention. Grow up.

Bitch, it's on!

Today in class, Chef Tanya (my instructor), tells us that for the International Coffee Day at the college, we will be making desserts for the attendees. I can not tell you how excited I became. Would you like to know why? Well, I AM A GONZALES. I heard, "this is a competition." Then it got better when she said we would be working in teams. My table partner, Katie, is just as competitive as I am. We are always in class outdoing all the other people. We got excited. We decided we will be making cocoa swiss meringue cookies and french vanilla cupcakes with cream cheese and white chocolate icing with (yes, there is more) meringue roses. TOP THAT BITCHES! It's all over for everyone else. Ah, I wish Jeni were here, she loves a good competition. I'll send pics.

Dooce did this on her blog, Jen did this on her blog, and I had to copy as well. A little info for my LEGIONS of readers.

What are your middle names?
Mine is Shannon and Doug's is Wayne.

How long have you been together?
We've been together 9 years and 7 mos. We have been married for 5 years.

How long did you know each other before you started dating?
Oh god, this is a weird story. Doug and I met when he was living with Uncle Carlos' girlfriend Jane. They were roomates. I was...younger. We did not know each other long before we started dating...pregnant...isn't that the same thing?

Who asked whom out?
He asked me.

How old are each of you?
I'm 32, he's OLD 45. It is a 13 year age difference.

Whose siblings do you see the most?
Mine.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Our kids, money, the shop.

Did you go to the same school?
No

Are you from the same home town?
No. Doug is from podunk Colorado and I'm from Santa Fe.

Who is smarter?
Honestly, not sure. I remember things like you would not believe and I can multi task like no one's business. Doug...drives me nuts. Not fast on computer, remembers NOTHING, and is horrible at names, yet can solve a complex math problem. Drives me nuts.

Who is the most sensitive?
I cry the easiest.

Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Rio Chama. Love the people, they know us, and it is such good comfort food.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
New York City

Who has the craziest exes?
Uh, Doug. Enough said.

Who has the worst temper?
Doug. Enough said.

Who does the cooking?
Me. I love cooking. It is soothing to me.

Who is the neat-freak?
Me. I like things tidy. Doug could leave his clothes on the chair forever.

Who is more stubborn?
Did I mention my maiden name is Gonzales?

Who hogs the bed?
Me. I love my bed. I love my blankets. I love my pillows. I prefer to sleep alone.

Who wakes up earlier?
Me.

Where was your first date?
El Farol. We saw Tom Petty and I just about passed out. I love him!

Who is more jealous?
Neither of us.

How long did it take to get serious?
Let's see...Matthew was conceived when? I guess that made us serious.

Who eats more?
Doug. I don't understand how he eats non stop and barely gains weight. I look at food and 10 pounds magically appear on me.

Who does the laundry?
Uh, me. Someone can't figure out sorting clothes.

Who's better with the computer?
Me. Doug is WAY slow on the computer. Drives me nuts.

Who drives when you are together?
Me. The man drives insanely slow and can not navigate as well as I can.

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.

There has been a situation brewing in Matthew's class that has reached fever pitch. I am done and have dealing with it for almost three weeks. There is a new boy in the class. We'll call him "Billy" (after this episode http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It). He seemed like a good enough kid, but slowly reports of him having MAJOR meltdowns began to surface. For example, the room having to be evacuated, chairs being thrown, the fish tank being relocated due to it may become a victim of this child, food being thrown...I think you get the idea. Doug and I were concerned, didn't want to be to judgemental, thought billy was getting adjusted to a new school, new surroundings. Well, not so much. This kid is a terror. A nightmare. He is destructive and violent. He is so violent and destructive that mom and dad have two other little ones at home, that they don't want the kid home because he might hurt the other two. After hearing Matthew tell us countless stories of how he is learning at school to get out of the room to be safe, I was ALL DONE. The next morning, Doug and I had a meeting with Matthew's teacher, the principal, the asst. principal, and another concerned parent. We aired out our concerns and they shared that they are trying to get the child moved to another school all together. Here is the kicker...the parents moved here from another state. They specifically moved to El Dorado to place their son in this class for autistic children. They met with the school, checked it out, and voila, here the child is. The school never got any paperwork explaining this kids diagnosis. Paperwork has trickled in and lo and behold, the kid is not autistic, HE IS EMOTIONALLY DISTURBED. Yeah, duped! The parents LIED to get their kid into this class. Now because the kid is in this class, it is taking an act of congress to get him out. All sorts of meetings, letters, calls, you name it, the other parents (including myself) are jumping through hoops to get the kid out. There is a light at the end of the tunnel though, it looks like this might be resolved in a week. These dumb ass, lying parents need to sign off on their kid to go this other school (which is a behavioral health school-go figure). Until then, I hate taking Matthew to school. When your child comes home and tells you how he had to go to another class to be safe, or he tells you that he is afraid of billy and doesn't want him coming to his house because he will destroy it, or even worse, when he tells you that he is afraid billy will hurt his teachers. IT KILLS ME. I am hoping that these parents will sign on the damn dotted line and get this kid out of this school and into an environment that will help him. Until then, these parents better pray this kid doesn't mess with Matthew, god help them.

Le Sigh...

I got an A in my Basic Pastries II class. Yes, I am so happy and excited. I enjoy the classes, the practice at home, and the homework. It is hard balancing everything and I know I could be doing a better job of it. I mentioned that I was bummed out that Dad didn't return my call about my first class. I still am pretty sad about that as well, but truly the root is I miss Jim. I want him to be a part of what I am doing. I believe he would be so proud of me, encouraging me. I don't think I am looking to have my ego fed, I am just so sad that he is missing out on what I am doing. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him.

Some things change, and some things never do.

*Warning, a some what depressing post*

I got an A in my first pastry class. I am so excited. you are never to old to be impressed at the fact you got an A in something. When I found out, I told my mom, Doug, the client that was in the shop, I twittered it, took an ad out in the local paper, contacted channel 7 news...you get the picture. I also called my dad. Left a message saying I got an A (do you see where this is going?). That night I was getting ready to go to bed and I realized, I never heard from him. No text saying good job, no call, nada. It really upset me. Why you ask? Well, I thought I had killed the little girl that needed her fathers approval, apparently not. She still exists. She still needed to hear good job from her father and she didn't. Maybe that girl came back because Jim is gone. I know Jim would have been proud. He would have said something like, "Good job Dawn S." I miss him and maybe I wanted...I don't know. I guess you are never to told to seek your father's approval. It will take a few more days, but that little girl who needs the praise, she'll be gone. You can bet on it.

Thursday night I was watching ER, (yes I was watching ER Jeni. You know I am a sucker for final seasons). There was a story line about some doctor that had retired from County and was found wondering and he had Alzheimer's. It got me thinking about my grandma Helen. She is in an assisted living center here in town. She has VERY BAD Alzheimer's. She has no idea what, where, or really who anyone is. I have not seen her in...4years? Why? I hate the woman. Yes, hate is such a strong word, but that is how I feel. My mom and I lived with her. I moved out as soon as I could after graduation. The woman made my life hell. She was cruel and very mean to me. She hated me as much as I hated her. I could tell you stories that would make your jaw drop. I heard a great theory as to why people suffer from dementia, it says that this disease is the souls way of purging the brain of a hypocritical life (I will find the exact quote and post it, but for now this will do). I agree, she led a hypocritical life. She was this church going, gardening, doting grandmother to her other grandchildren...to me, she was horrible. I have maybe 5 fond memories of the woman? How sad that my friends didn't like coming to my house because of her. When she would walk in to the room, my friends would hum under their breath the wicked witch of the west theme. I have decided that when she dies, I will go to the funeral, not to mourn, but to make sure she is truly dead. My mom asked me if I would please go to the home where Helen lives to have a picture taken, and I couldn't. I just could not bring myself to walk into that place with her. Maybe it is true what that quote said. Maybe it is karma and she is suffering for what she did. I don't know. I will say it does make me sad that I carry this hatred with me. I know the only way I will forgive her is in death. My mom one time mentioned how she felt bad that we lived with my grandmother and it was the biggest mistake she ever made. I was so shocked, I had no response. Maybe I need to address it with her again, air out the dirty laundry. I don't know.

Look what I made...

Yummy Creampuffs!

Thank you, gracias, merci, Спасибо, Grazie

I would like to thank Jeni for the way FAB blog template!

Hello, yeah it's been awhile. Not much, how about you?

Yes, yes...I know. It's been quite some time since I have blogged. I have been busy and there is so much to tell.

School-I started school on the 20th. I was so nervous, but the nerves went away and I am having a great time. The first couple of days were lecture and notes. The last three days we actually got to bake. I have baked biscuits, scones, banana bread, and focaccia bread. The boys have tried everything I have brought home, so has my mom, Doug (obviously) and most of the people in the office park where the shop is. The first leg of my classes are finished and tomorrow I start Basic Pastries 2. I am excited to go to school and I can't wait to see what I am baking this week. I petition to graduate tomorrow as well.

My oven-My oven died. This has been a tragedy since I am so excited to have started school, I wanted to practice at home to find my oven dead. I decided to call Rudy F. Gonzales to get his opinion as to what I should do, he then gave me the name of an oven repair guy who bears the RFG seal of approval. I was thrilled. I called and made an appointment for him to come. He showed up Thursday night and it turns out he and Doug have known each other for years. They were thrilled to see one another. I just cringed, because I truly married my grandmother. She knows EVERYONE and apparently so does Doug. ANYWAY, they guy repairs the oven. I'm thrilled. THEN, as he was moving the oven back, he touched some exposed wire and blew a fuse in the kitchen. When the fuse blew, it blew the motherboard in my damn oven. I thought I was going to cry. We had to order the part and it will get here Tuesday. When it gets here, we have to call him and he will come install it. As a side note, he did share with us how he has a foot fetish and loves massaging ladies feet to the point they have an orgasm. He was telling this story and all I was thinking was how my feet are bare and he is giving me the creeps. I have a feeling that if I told RFG this story, the seal would be taken away.

Matthew and Michael-The boys are fantastic. Matthew started skiing last weekend. He loves it. I thought he would have to start from scratch, but he remembered everything from last winter and has already been on the chair and down easy street many times. He is so good. His friend at school, Logan, has been getting Matthew to play football at recess with the other kids. Matthew really likes it. The other boys accept him because Logan does and they pass him the ball and he runs. Apparently it is very cute to watch him and he loves it. Logan is a really good kid. Michael is doing well. He told us that he broke up with his girlfriend because she would not play Star Wars. I felt that was a great reason. He and I have spent the last two Sunday mornings together and it has been fun. Last Sunday we went to my moms and had breakfast. Today we played Monopoly (mammers won, I ran out of money) and we built a cafe out of Lego's. It was really nice to hang out with him. He is so funny. He has a great sense of humor. We bought him a new baseball glove yesterday, it's almost time for baseball again.

Generally-I believe that 2009 is going to be a year for many changes. I don't want to go into great detail (especially since I don't have a lot) but Doug and I are talking about moving. We are tired of Santa Fe and feel like there is nothing keeping us here. We are looking at a few places. I will keep you posted.

I think that's about it. I will start posting pictures of the items I bake. AH yes, I will tell you that I am going to start experimenting with various recipes. I got this silicon pan (see pic)

and I thought of a recipe for it. Chocolate cake with a creamy cheesecake filling and chocolate icing. I will call them Love Nibbles. What do you think? Picture of the Nibbles coming this week (as soon as the oven is fixed!).