July 26

I'm out of the hospital. Once again...living. Starting to feel. It feels good to feel anything again. Inspired again. Been baking. Being creative. Connecting with my children. Need to repair other relationships. Relationships I've let go and hope to once again have. Hope...life. I take a deep breath and continue to move forward, hoping my path becomes clear.

Sunday Morning

I can not explain the excitement of Jeni sending me a snippet of No Doubt's Sunday Morning in concert. I thought I was going to cry. It makes me kick myself for not just splurging on the concert tickets. Sunday Morning is my fav. No Doubt song. My fav, MY fav, MY FAV! Love it! This song has such special meaning for me...one I don't think I will explain here. Here are the lyrics, download it, copy it, sing it aloud! It is that good.

Sappy pathetic little me

That was the girl I used to be

You had me on my knees

I'd trade you places any day

I'd never thought you could be that way

But you looked like me on Sunday

You came in with the breeze

On Sunday morning

You sure have changed since yesterday

Without any warning

I thought I knew you

I thought I knew you

I thought I knew you well. . . so well

You're trying my shoes on for a change

They look so good but fit so strange

Out of fashion, so I can complain

You came in with the breeze
On Sunday morning
You sure have changed since yesterday
Without any warning
I thought I knew you
I thought I knew you
I thought I knew you well. . . so well

I know who I am, but who are you?

You're not looking like you used to

You're on the other side of the mirror

So nothing's looking quite as clear

Thank you for turning on the lights

Thank you, now you're the parasite

I didn't think you had it in you

And now you're looking like I used to

You came in with the breeze

On Sunday morning

You sure have changed since yesterday

Without any warning

And you want me badly

You cannot have me

I thought I knew you

But I've got a new view

I thought I knew you well . . . oh well

yeah, yeah, this is a filler post, but I NEEDED to let the world know of my LOVE for this song and my gratitude to Jen for letting me know they sang this song and I know she was singing at the top of her lungs thinking of me.

Apparently we live in the same house...

http://www.blisstree.com/autismvox/bully-in-the-house/

And then there was Blah

I'm tired. I'm cranky. I am tired of people. Just got back from a nice vacation. In laws came into town the very next day. I have what seems like a million things to do and of course no time to do them. I'm in dire need of a haircut (of course, as usual my sister has taken care of it for me. What the hell I would do with out her, god only knows). I'm in dire need of a facial.

This weekend will hopefully be a chance to relax and do nothing. Baking. Yes, there will be baking.

No smile, no tip

Friday night after Michael's opening ceremonies, we went to have dinner. Doug takes the boys to the restroom, I am at the table and the server brings our drinks. He puts the boys sodas on the table, then hands me my ice tea. As he is handing it to me, he spills it. No big, it goes everywhere. He apologizes profusely, I help him wipe up the spill. He again, says he is so sorry and will bring me another one. My response to him was, "At least this time I did not melt." HE LOOKS AT ME BLANKLY. Am I the only one that thinks this is hilarious?

What a wonderful day

Today was one of the best days I have ever had. Wait, let me start with last night...Friday night I baked. Baked my little heart out. I made creme brulee, lemon meringue, and cinnamon muffins. The lemon meringue came out sooooooooo good. The cinnamon muffins had a great taste but, they looked...sketchy. Now I need to work on appearance, then they will be perfect. I made creme brulee for Doug and my uncle Carlos. I gave two ramekins of creme brulee to gam and gramps to give to him. They took them to him, and when he was getting out of the car when he got home, he dropped one. You read right, HE DROPPED MY RAMEKIN and it broke. He seriously was trying to find a way to still eat it (of course you know what I thought of http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtWy54au_ws). Poor guy, of course I have never laughed so hard in my life.

This morning we got up early to go to Albuquerque and attend the New Mexico Autism Society Walk/Run for Autism. It was so exciting to see all of our shirts on the participants. The best part was when we talked to the President of the NMAS, she told us that they had so many participants they ran out of shirts. I was beyond thrilled that they had the turnout they had. We are going to be printing 100 more so they can send them out to people who did not get a shirt. Michael then decided he wanted to participate in the kids 1K run. I was so proud of him. He got a medal that he wore proudly. The event was so fun and so successful. Next year it will be bigger and better. On another autism note...I am participating in a project of called Autism Mother's Photography Project. I will be having my photo taken this week. I'll let you all know more details as I know them.

After the walk we had lunch, walked around the mall, went to Williams- Sonoma where I got an ice cream maker (BEYOND EXCITED about that purchase), the kids played in a fountain (yeah, that was all Doug), went to Old Navy where I got the kids some summer clothes and myself some really cute t-shirts, went to Best Buy to get use my Rewardszone certificates, and came home. It was a great day with my family. I wish you had been here with me.

Yeah, I'm still here

I know, I know. I haven't been here in forever. I could come up with a long list of excuses, but really, why bother? I will offer snippets of what is going on.

Seattle Trip-Had so much fun with Jen and Sam. It was relaxing. It was nice to hang out and laugh and talk. It's not like we did anything earth shattering, but I loved every minute of the trip. My heart started to hurt on the way to the airport. I hate goodbyes. I will get to see Jen again in May for graduation marathon, so that is a comfort.

School-Started a class that begins at 6 am. YES, 6 am. Three days a week I get up at 5 and go to school. I really love the class. So far I have made danishes, cinnamon rolls, croissants, scones, muffins, and next week I will learn english muffins. One of the best parts of this class is my chef instructor makes us breakfast at least once a week. OH MY GOD, they are so good. This morning we had eggs benedict. It was so good. Seriously, so good. The other perk of being at school at 5:50, I get Gonzales parking every morning.

School II-I just finished a chocolate and sugar class. The chef that taught the class was brilliant! He is the owner of Kakawa Chocolate House (http://www.kakawachocolates.com/). B R I L L I A N T! I learned so much and had so much fun in his class. I was sad to see it end.

Kids-The boys are doing well. Michael has started little league again. He is still a Stinger. He is very excited about baseball. He now also has homework every night in preparation for FIRST GRADE. Yes, FIRST GRADE. I can't believe his kindergarten year is almost over. First grade...where does the time go? Matthew is doing well. We just got some testing back in regards to him. Some disappointing news, some surprising news. Since I'm not sure who reads this blog, those of you who need to know about it will, and those of you who don't need to know about it won't.

Some generally reminders...April is Autism Month. For some of us though, every month is Autism Month. I won't ask for a donation to Autism Speaks (http://www.autismspeaks.org/), I ask for your compassion. Please, when you are at the store, the mall, just out, and you see a child that doesn't speak clearly, or is crying, or you see a mom and dad near tears while trying to get out of a public place with a child having a meltdown, have compassion. Don't judge. No matter how far along we have come in our journey, I can see the look on people's faces when Matthew speaks or if he is having a bad day. I can see them judging myself and my child. Have compassion people. Offer a smile, or hell, walk up to the parent and see if you can help. On April 25 the New Mexico Autism Society is going to have their first walk/run in Albuquerque. If you can attend, please do (http://www.active.com/page/Event_Details.htm?event_id=1714319). May 2nd is also Autism night at Isotopes Stadium.

I can't wait to see my family in May...